Jealous Audience (demos)

by Zack Violet

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1.
02:07
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3.
02:44
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7.
04:14
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9.
03:37
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11.
04:36

credits

released November 4, 2011

all songs written and performed by zack apman

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all rights reserved

about

Zack Violet Chicago, Illinois

Zack Violet is a kinky queer poly bi genderfluid rockstar witch doctor currently based in CHICAGO ILLINOIS.

It is the singer and songwriter of HAHALALA, DOCTOR DEATH CRUSH and FRIENDYMAN.

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Track Name: Soho Triggerthroat
When you find that spot with your tongue
I'm on a swingset off of Houston
and the rain comes down like bullets at the spring
and distance from the sun is thickening

When my heart pumps Vivance and rum
I'm on a swingset off of Houston
and the rain's screaming down like bullets at the spring
and distance from the sun is thickening

When my mother was a death-bed snarl
and every sentence she strung together was like
taking a big bite out of your brain stem
she said "come on, lie down next to me, son
because I'm not sure...no i'm not 100% about it, baby
but I've got a feeling
the trigger is in your
throat".

The trigger is in your throat
The trigger is in your throat
The trigger is in your throat
The trigger is in your throat
Track Name: Space
and my sister has a beautiful voice
Track Name: IV You Brought
the IV you brought
keeps pushing your green
into the dying man
his laugh growls steady like a chainsaw
he's counting the minutes on one hand
the other hand scratches the corners of the
mouth that excess cracked
his eyes are rolling right and left
and up and down
and back

and everybody's heard he's going down

I'm kicking machines
unplugging their screams
why won't you help drain him blue
in the surgical white
that fucker's sucking down your green
with no regard for you
and all the pretty girls bring him cocaine
and all the pretty girls bring him coke

and everybody's heard he's going down
everybody's gonna bring their eyes
everybody's heard he's going to sing to us for free
you're gonna wanna be there
when he dies

with all your glowing eyes

outside I can hear and feel
his veins start to twist closed
and we're waiting
the IV you brought
you figured out how to pull on
and we're waiting

and all the pretty girls who brought him cocaine
all the pretty girls watch him choking
and all the pretty girls who brought him cocaine
all the pretty girls well they watch him choke

and everybody's heard he's going down
everybody's gonna bring their eyes
everybody's heard he's going to sing to us for free
you're gonna wanna be there
when he dies
Track Name: Another String
I can hear it banging up your throat
a sentence that ends in faggot but I'm saying it anyway
your skin's as soft as being in love
and I'm glad that the last few months of my life
have also been yours, yeah I'm glad

and all good souls get saved
there's a big net under their graves

I tried harder than I'll ever tell you
to keep my hair out of your humming spokes
because I knew where you were trying to drag me
and how much skin I'd leave
steaming on the road

and all good souls get saved
there's a big net under their graves

I can hear it smashing at your teeth
a sentence that ends in faggot but I'm saying it anyway
your skin's as soft as being in love
and I'm glad that the last few months of my life
have also been yours, yeah I'm glad

and all good souls get saved
there's a big net under their graves

and life's a string between two holes
two mothers trading souls
Track Name: Eve
there's a man in the trees
and he doesn't use his mouth to speak
his cold metal eyes are making my weak
he laughs himself around me
and I'm sort of cold
I hope that no one can say I wasn't brave

are you ready for autumn

god was he mad at me
oh was he mad at me

it was cold in my hand
but the bite was so delicate warm
the leave all around began to swarm
I hope that no one can say I wasn't
but it's hard
yeah it's hard

are you ready for autumn
I'm sorry for autumn

god was he mad at me
oh was he mad at me

I'm sorry for autumn
Track Name: Less of a Fuck
I don't know what time it was when I did it
I couldn't bring myself to love the sun
with everyone still alive
I shot myself
6 times
and I went outside

the snow is thinner
and it whips around like smoke
and I always think about you when I'm cold
and it's a long 6 months
when you dress like its almost spring everyday
but like I have to tell you that

I don't know what time it was when you called me
if it was before
if it was after
I couldn't give less of a fuck
because shot myself 6 times
and I went outside

the snow is thinner
and it whips around like smoke
and I always think about you when I'm cold
and it's a long 6 months
when you dress like its almost spring everyday
but like I have to tell you that
Track Name: Seed
my knife makes lips
and every kiss makes the wind outside get colder
can you feel it blowing colder
I smiled it right into your hip
and you bit me in the shoulder
tore meat right off my shoulder

and everything's silent except for the trees
and the water's as deep as the sky
and it just makes me colder the more you say please
and hotter the more you ask why

do I gotta lay down
just gotta lay down

___________________so i'm in the back of this fucking starbucks_____________________________

something inside my Disney mind
says I wasn't born this desperate
I wasn't born this desperate
something inside my Disney mind
tells me I wasn't born this desperate

and everything's silent except for the trees
and the water's as deep as the sky
and it just makes me colder the more you say please
and hotter the more you ask why

do I gotta lay down
just gotta lay down
Track Name: Jealous Audience
you don't have enough time
to read all the books you want
and all the colors you've seen
will slide

when they roll you off the front of the stage
and you're enveloped in the vast jealous audience
what will you say
what will you say, same as me

what are you doing

somebody burnt down
your childhood home and surrounding trees
and you get itchy all over
if you don't drive by at least twice a week
sometimes three times a week

when they roll you off the front of the stage
and you're enveloped in the vast jealous audience
what will you say
what will you say, same as me

what are you doing

oh my god
oh my god
Track Name: Heaven
your sheets are in the dryer
I won't be seeing you for a while
I don't have a spine for the kind of mess that I've made
your disappointment is too heavy

and I've been waiting
for so long
and I've decided that I get into heaven
I've been waiting for so long
and I want to go
home

I'm high more often than I'm not high
I get into these fits where I just do this to myself
and I owe people money
your disappointment is too heavy

and he pulls the beautiful machinery
from the window
yes this one pulls all the beautiful machinery
from the window
he pulls it all out
and i get to go
home

where we're laughing all the time